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2006 ARCHIVE
December
Big Words, Cybergeeks, and Singlehood
November
St. Joseph, Unofficial Patron of the Dream Date
Part 2 of 2 parts
October
St. Joseph, Unofficial Patron of the Dream Date
Part 1 of 2 parts
September
Semper Fi, "Always Faithful" - Mary, the Marines, and Dating - Part 2 of 2 parts
August
Semper Fi, "Always Faithful" - Mary, the Marines, and Dating - Part 1 of 2 parts
July
What Is The Church's Moral Teaching on Chastity?
(Excerpted from Chapter III. A Major Challenge: A Chaste, Christian Courtship)
(Part 3)
June
Love and Affection
(Excerpted from Chapter IV, "Understanding Love")
(Part 2)
May
Excerpted from Christian Courtship in
An Oversexed World.
(Part 1)
April
Confessions of an Undercover Virgin
March
Renewing Singles Ministry
February
Body Language: Commentary on the Intersection of Faith, Sex & Culture
January
SINGLES MINISTRY IS VOCATION FORMATION
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| JANUARY 2006: |
SINGLES MINISTRY IS VOCATION FORMATION
By Dave Sloan |
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 Singles ministry should consist of these two essential elements. 1) Drawing singles into the family life of the Church, and 2) Helping singles to find and live their vocations to married and to celibate life.
Another way to put it is this: SINGLES MINISTRY IS VOCATION FORMATION.
Effective singles ministry requires us to clarify the prevailing confusion about the meaning of the word "vocation". First, there is a universal vocation, shared by every Christian, as explained in Familiaris Consortio: Love is "The fundamental and innate vocation of every human being"(FC, n. 11).
Next, from the same document, we see that there are, "two specific ways of realizing the vocation of the human person, in its entirety, to love: marriage and virginity or celibacy" (FC, n. 11).
When we move from discussing the universal vocation of all Christians to love, to discussing particular vocations, we are always referring either to marriage or celibacy.
Celibacy is not the same as abstinence from sex before marriage, or at certain times within marriage. Celibacy, like marriage, is forever. When people refer to life as a "consecrated single," when that consecration or commitment is permanent, they are actually referring to something akin to a celibate vocation, and not to single life as we normally understand it.
As Christopher West, perhaps the leading expert on vocation and family in the Church today, explained it to me, "We could describe being single as a 'state in life' but not strictly as a vocation--not, anyway, as the Church has traditionally understood that word in this context. The word vocation implies a total, definitive, and irrevocable gift of self."
The concept of total gift is critical here. Single life, when properly understood and lived, is what makes this gift possible. In order for the gift of our lives to have value and meaning, then we must be truly free to make that gift. Freedom then, true freedom, is the essential character of the single life.
In the very first words God spoke to man he gave the gift of freedom, "You are free to eat from any of the trees of the garden..." (Gen 2:16). It is significant that this freedom was given to Adam in his singleness, while he was still alone. Eve, then was created with the same freedom, and it is precisely their freedom which allowed Adam and Eve to choose to give themselves to one another. It is the same freedom which allows a person to choose to give him or herself to God in celibacy.
John Paul II explains this freedom in The Theology of the Body. Speaking of those entering marriage he writes of "the depths of their freedom, which is freedom of giving," (p. 74). Speaking of those committing to celibacy he writes of "the freedom of the gift" (p. 248). In his book, Love and Responsibility, John Paul II expressed it this way, "Freedom exists for the sake of Love... Freedom is the means, and love is the end" (p. 136). First comes the freedom, then comes the love; first comes the single life fully lived, then comes the particular vocation.
The modern crisis in vocations, both married and celibate, will be corrected only by helping single people to find true freedom - the freedom of the gift, the freedom which makes love possible. This freedom cannot be found in the isolation and self-centeredness which are so much at the center of modern, materialistic life. The freedom to give is learned and lived only in the family.
All life is family life. Outside the family there is only death. We must help singles live the fullness of family life within the family of the Church.
In this way, singles can make a free and creative commitment of our lives each day in the universal Christian vocation to love and give, even as we strive to become so free as to be able one day to give ourselves permanently in particular vocations to marriage or celibacy.
The 2nd National Catholic Singles Conference, to be held in Denver Feb 10-12, 2006, is a profound sign that the revolution in singles ministry, in true vocation formation, is at last underway.
WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS, THERE IS FREEDOM! (2 Cor 3:17)
For more about the conference visit www.theologyofthebody.net.
Dave Sloan's website is www.godofdesire.com.
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