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Preparing for a Date
by Thomas P. Schmierer
November 30, 2008 |
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 As many Catholic Christian singles around the world prepare for their dates, the rest of the Church joins them as we all collectively enter the liturgical season that can be aptly called "Preparing for a Date." The "Date" for which we all prepare is December 25th, 2008. This article outlines some of the similarities between Catholic Christian singles who are called to marriage and all other practicing Catholic Christians during the season of Advent.
The Meaning of Advent
Advent is derived from the Latin word adventus, which means a coming, approach, or arrival.(1) During the Advent Season, we prepare for the celebration that commemorates Christ’s coming into the world at the first Christmas. On that day, we will celebrate the birth of the Word Incarnate as we truly receive Him in the Christmas Eucharist!
As we wait for Him, we prepare ourselves through a purification process that includes prayer and fasting. There are also visible and audible differences that can be noticed in the church and liturgy which signify the communal aspect of our preparation. You will notice that the altar in your church will not be decorated with flowers and the playing of musical instruments such as the organ will be limited.(2) This is to reflect the solemnity of this period of preparation.
The Meaning of the Dating Preparation Phase
While many Catholic Christians prepare for dates by carefully selecting their attire or fixing their makeup, there is another, more spiritual, way of preparing for a date. This spiritual way of preparing is a standard part of what is called Christian courtship.
An audio presentation on Catholic Christian Courtship & Dating(3) divides the courting process into six phases:
- Dating Preparation
- Friendship Dating
- Novena
- Formal Courtship
- Engagement
- Marriage
Notice that the first stage is called Dating Preparation. The similarities between what Catholic Christian singles are called to do in this phase is very similar to what all devout Catholic Christians are called to do during Advent.
Similarities between Dating Preparation and Christmas Preparation
Dating Preparation is an important phase for all, but especially for those who have engaged in sexually immoral behavior in past relationships. Failing to remain sexually pure in a dating relationship is a grave matter that leaves the souls of both persons in great peril. The normal spiritual remedy for sexual impurity is for those involved to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation with humble and contrite hearts. This brings lost sheep back into the fold where they can remain warm and safe in the arms of Our Loving Shepherd.
Frequent reception of the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist are essential elements of the Dating Preparation Phase because these sacraments help the Catholic single prepare for a pure dating relationship. Each time we receive the Eucharist we receive grace in the amount that we are open to receiving it. This grace provides the supernatural power necessary to purify our hearts. The more often we receive the Eucharist with an open heart, the purer our hearts will become over time.
Frequent recourse to the Sacrament of Reconciliation with a humble and contrite heart allows one’s conscience to grow to full maturity. A fully-developed conscience helps us to make wise decisions. When it is said that sexual purity arises from a pure heart, it is meant that sexual purity arises from an intellect and will that work together to make wise choices, a.k.a. "a good conscience." Therefore, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is invaluable in maintaining and/or reestablishing sexual purity.
Catholic Christian singles who are in the Dating Preparation Phase have something positive in common with other members of the Church during Advent. During this season, the rest of the faithful are also called to prepare themselves through frequent recourse to the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist. During Advent, the devout Catholic Christian single will not only be spiritually preparing for a date with their romantic interest, he/she will join the rest of the Church by preparing for the Lord’s coming in the Christmas Eucharist. While this is a positive similarity between singles and others who do properly prepare for Christmas, there is a sad similarity between singles and others who do not properly prepare for Christmas, the desecration of Christ in the Eucharist on the very day that we celebrate His birth.
Similarities between Singles and Others during Advent
Sexual sin seems to be the most common mortal sin committed by Catholic Christian singles who are called to marriage. As a mortal sin, it separates them from God until proper restitution is made. After engaging in a mortal sin, we are asked to refrain from receiving our life-giving Eucharist until we partake in the Sacrament of Reconciliation with a humble and contrite heart. This is because we must be in a morally pure state in order to receive God into our bodies.
Singles who are in a state of mortal sin who partake in the Eucharist without first being purified are not properly prepared to receive the Lord during Advent or any other liturgical season. Perhaps because of poor catechesis, it seems that many singles unknowingly receive Christ in an impure state. Herein lays the sad similarity between poorly catechized singles and many other members of the Church during Advent--neither are properly prepared to receive Jesus in the Christmas Eucharist.
Failure to attend Mass on every Sunday is perhaps what most frequently separates married Catholic Christians, and many others, from God. It is part of the basic catechesis that it is a mortal sin to miss Mass on Sunday and Holy Days of Obligation unless one is truly unable to attend due to such things as illness or transportation problems, yet it seems that millions of confirmed Catholic Christians for some reason choose to only attend Mass on Easter and/or Christmas.
Advent is supposed to be a time in which we prepare for Christ’s coming in the Christmas Eucharist, yet those who attend Mass only on Christmas, and choose to receive the Eucharist on that day, are not only in an unprepared state, but also in a state of mortal sin. In this way, the Catholic Christian single who receives the Eucharist after committing a sexually impure act and the Catholic Christian who only receives the Eucharist on Christmas, both commit a grave sin by receiving Jesus in the Christmas Eucharist while in an impure state. This unhappy similarity can be avoided by properly preparing for the coming of Christ this Advent through frequent recourse to the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist.
Conclusion
Right now, all Catholic Christians are in the "Preparation Phase of Christmas" that is more commonly known as Advent. Right now, all Catholic Christians are called to come back into the fold as we solemnly prepare for the coming of Our Shepherd in the Christmas Eucharist. Catholic Christians who have either committed sins of sexual impurity or needlessly missed a Sunday Mass without receiving the normal spiritual remedies for it are called to undergo a period of purifying preparation. All devout Catholic Christians are called to spiritually prepare for Christmas through fasting, almsgiving, and frequent recourse to the sacraments. As a Church, we are called to unify as one flock preparing for the One Christ who was sent to save us from our sins such as lust and spiritual sloth. May we all, whether single or married, make a choice this Advent to properly prepare for the coming of Christ in the Christ-Mass and join together as we sing one common song, O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!
Footnotes
- odern Catholic Dictionary by John A. Hardon, S.J., 2001, p. 14.
- Ibid.
- Presentation available at http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Dating-Courtship-Intimacy-Catholic/dp/B001F3H2GQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_i. This article only emphasizes the first relationship phase. Please consult the presentation for information regarding the other phases.
Thomas Schmierer is a Catholic counselor, writer, and evangelizer for V2C®. Visit www.vaticanvalues.com to learn more about Mr. Schmierer's work. For information about his audio presentation on "Christian Dating & Courtship," visit http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Dating-Courtship-Intimacy-Catholic/dp/B001F3H2GQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_i.
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