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2007 ARCHIVE
December
Christmas Presents, Catholic Presence, and Dating
November
Mr. Chemistry Lips
October
Choo-choo, Cha-cha, and Childish: Part Two
September
Choo-choo, Cha-cha, and Childish: Part One
August
Okay, I Admit It. I'm Desperate! Part Two
July
Okay, I Admit It. I'm Desperate! Part One
June
Why Am I Still Single? Part Two
May
Why Am I Still Single? Part One
April
Survive or Thrive?
March
How Open Is Your Marriage Window?
February
Interview-date-o-phobia
January
Angels, Demons, and Dating
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Christmas Presents, Catholic Presence, and Dating
Written by Thomas P. Schmierer
November 28, 2007 |
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 While some Catholic Christian singles may spend the day after Christmas sorting out the presents, others may use Christmas to discern the presence of Catholic Christian fidelity in their dates. For most folks, preparing for Christmas means purchasing gifts for their loved ones and hanging decorations. For Catholic Christian singles, the Advent season can also be a time of spiritual preparation and discernment.
The Liturgical Meaning of Advent - Spiritual Preparation
According to the 1907 New Advent Encyclopedia (published at http://www.newadvent.org), Advent is a time when the faithful are admonished to prepare for the coming of Christ in the Christmas Eucharist. By doing so, we are also preparing "for His final coming as judge, at death and at the end of the world." In other words, Advent is a time of joyful penance. This is reflected in the modified arrangement of the Mass during Advent to reflect the solemn aspect of the period.
You may notice that there are no Christmas hymns sung at Mass until the Christmas celebration. This is because, liturgically-speaking, Christ has not yet come. One popular Advent song, "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel," reflects our preparation and longing to be with Christ – both in this world, through the Christmas Eucharist, and at His final coming. In the song, we journey "back in time" to the period before Christ's birth and earnestly plea for Emmanuel to come.
There are a variety of ways that we can prepare for His coming to us in the Eucharist. One way is to participate in the sacrament of Reconciliation. The absolution granted to us in this sacrament washes away our sins and spiritually purifies our bodies, making them worthy to receive the Lord at Mass. Another way to prepare is to fast one or more days a week. Fasting helps us to perfect the virtue of temperance, a.k.a. moderation, which is so necessary in leading a good, balanced life. Another is to give up something you enjoy or to do extra charitable acts. By purifying ourselves in these ways, we hope to please the Lord and be ever closer to Him, now and after death.
Liturgically, Advent is not the Christmas season. Understandably, the stores and radio stations seem totally unaware of this fact. The true Christmas season, a time of superabundant joy, lasts from Christmas until the Baptism of Our Lord, which will be celebrated on January 13th. In order to intensify the longing for the incarnation of Christ, one could avoid listening to radio stations that play Christmas music before Christmas. Last year, I did not play the radio in the car during Advent and I often felt like I could hear God in that silence.
Discernment
Whereas the message of joyful penance during Advent applies to all Catholic Christians, the message of discernment is especially significant for singles. If you are dating, then you will need to constantly discern the different aspects of your date's character. The Advent season offers a special opportunity to do this.
If you are starting to get a little more serious with one of your dates, then you may wish to ask him/her to join you in your chosen act of charity or penance. This Advent, you might consider the charitable act of going to Mass on some weekdays. Weekday Masses are often memorials for different saints. You and your date could review a list of the saints remembered in the weekday Masses and discuss which saints sound interesting. Then, you can jointly research about the saints and participate in their Masses.
Conclusion
If your date decides to do acts of penance or charity with you and follows through with it, then that tells you something good about his/her character. If your date is not interested, then you will want to find out his/her reasons. The answers will help you to assess your date's fidelity to the Catholic Christian faith tradition. Studies have shown that adhering to certain Catholic Christian teachings predicts marital success. (1)
This Christmas, as you discern the presence of Catholic Christian fidelity in your date, may you receive the gift of superabundant grace from the Christmas Eucharist along with your other presents! May your Advent be purifying and all your Christmases be holy and white!
Footnotes
(1) Several studies have shown a marital success rate of between 94-96% for those couples who practice NFP. Article with statistics was previously located at http://ccli.org/nfp/marriage/maritalduration.php.
Thomas Schmierer is a Catholic counselor, writer, and evangelizer for V2C®. Visit www.vaticanvalues.com to learn more about Mr. Schmierer's work.
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