The charisms and needs of singles are not based upon age, but upon state in life. What singles experience and need at age 25 is almost indistinguishable from what singles experience and need at age 55.

What singles need can be best expressed in these two key concepts:

1) To be drawn out of isolation and into the family life of the Church--so to fully experience all of the grace, power and beauty of Christian life each and every day, beginning right now, rather than listlessly pining for some future state of marriage or consecration.

2) To be formed to the greatest appreciation of and preparedness for the vocations of both marriage and consecrated life.

The central charism of one who is married or who has become permanently consecrated in priestly or religious life (or similar consecration) is the charism of the vow, or promise. To differentiate from the single state, this can be termed the "avowed state."

The central charism of the single person is very different. It most naturally is and ought to be the charism of freedom. Freedom is what makes it possible to give and to love. As Pope John Paul II has expressed it, "freedom exists for the sake of love. Freedom is the means, and love is the end" (Love and Responsibility p.135).

Those in the avowed state have used their freedom in order to make a permanent gift of themselves in love to another person or directly to God. For singles (we're speaking now not of modern American single life, but of how single life should be taught and lived by Christians), this freedom of giving and loving is experienced very differently, according to our two key concepts above.

First, freedom is experienced by learning to discern anew and creatively each day how we are to make gifts of our selves. This takes place fully only by living within the family of the Church-it cannot take place in isolation. Living as part of the Church family is not a formal thing, but is a deep-rooted commitment to sharing the most significant aspects of our lives with other Christians-including living together as roommates, praying, attending Mass, attending holiday events, eating, working, frolicking--all of the things that families should share.

Second, we strive though vocation formation to become so free as to be ready to make absolute and authentic gifts of ourselves to either marriage or consecrated life whensoever God may call us to do so.

Singles ministry is and must be vocation formation.
For 1900 years the Church and Catholic parents formed teenagers toward their vocations, both married and consecrated. We stopped doing that in the 1960s, when it was accepted that teenagers were not going off to get married or become priests or nuns, but to go to college and then live as singles. It will be a challenge to return to forming teenagers, though we must strive to do so. In the meantime we must begin to form the 100 million singles who are now the only source for vocations.
(Many people debate whether single life is a vocation. I prefer to handle the topic with this discussion of single and avowed states. But for a direct answer to the question read Mary Beth Bonacci's article on the subject at www.RealLove.net)

So, what does all of this require in practical terms? We must trust that God is good, and we can be confident that, as he has promised, his Church will prevail (Matt 16:18). In the midst of these crises we see fulfilled the scripture that "where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more" (Rom 5:20). For we live in the era of the prophet who will be known to history as Pope John Paul the Great. He has given us astounding resources to bring to bear in this battle.

The man I like to call "The Pope of Love" in his Love and Responsibility, and The Theology of the Body, has translated the Gospel into the language of our era, of our time and culture. He has expressed the deepest truths of our identities as sexual creatures in the most immediate possible language-the language of the body.

The job before us is simply to assimilate these teachings as they relate to the single life-and then to present those teachings to singles in the most relevant, real and compelling terms. Through the redemption and the untwisting of our desires for nuptial union, singles may find the way, and a culture consumed with the values of single life may find the way, into the heart of family life in the Church, and from thence to paradise.

All of this is beginning to happen right now in our midst. At the "National Conference on the Theology of the Body" last summer (2004) in Atlanta, Mary Beth Bonacci spoke on the meaning of the single life. To my knowledge, it was the first time that any major conference has ever included the topic of single life. There was a tremendous energy in the air as Mary Beth spoke of issues faced by Catholic singles every day of our lives, issues the vast majority of attendees had never before heard mentioned in any public forum.

The "First-Ever National Catholic Singles Conference" in February, 2005 in Denver. This two-day conference featured a crowd packed well beyond the auditorium's 400 person capacity. The crowd, drawn from thirty states, enjoyed two days of talks and activities which addressing the most fundamental truths of living in this society as a single person.

Mary Beth Bonacci, on of its featured speakers, wrote of this conference that "it is the first step in a really positive, beautiful, healthy revolution." One attendee expressed the sentiments of many when she stated, "this has been a life-changing experience. I had no idea how much I needed to be here."
Conference organizer Anastasia Northrop is planning several more regional Catholic Singles Conferences. More information, and recordings of the Denver conference, are available at www.TheologyoftheBody.net.

I have been traveling the country presenting a seminar titled "GOD OF DESIRE: From Dating to Courtship to Paradise." In the context of a very practical seminar on dating, we see our creator revealing himself, and revealing us to ourselves, through our attractions toward and desires for one another. This is nothing other than the Gospel expressed in the language of the body as given to us by the great Pope of Love. In addition to offering singles much-needed encouragement on the topic of courtship, the www.GodofDesire.com website includes curricula for singles ministry based upon an extensive compilation of excerpts from the writings of Pope John Paul II.

There is no turning back now. The dam has broken. The revolution is launched. Single life is becoming understood and singles are finding homes in the family life of the Church. From these singles and from this outreach the entire culture around us is being transformed into a culture of family, a culture of life.

And from these singles will spring ALL of the vocations of tomorrow. Our Church will thrive. She will prevail, and she will shepherd ALL of her sheep.

For more information visit: TheologyoftheBody.net, ReaLove.net, GodofDesire.com, ChristopherWest.com, yam.org.